When the disciples asked Jesus to teach them to pray, he replied, “When you pray say, ‘Our Father in heaven…’” (Matthew 6:9-14) It is the Lord’s own prayer, given to us by Jesus himself. We start by asking that the Father’s name be kept holy, that his kingdom be present here with us and that his will be practised on earth just like it is in heaven. We continue with more personal requests such as for daily food, forgiveness and protection from evil.
The phrase regarding forgiveness is one that we should engrave on our minds. If we do not forgive those who have hurt us, neither will God forgive us. We have hurt him many times in our life.
I remember so clearly in Guatemala when I was asked to visit and pray with a dying woman. We climbed the mountain to her poor shack where she lay on a shelf-like bed covered by an old worn blanket. She was conscious but indeed dying. I prayed for her. Her family told me that she had a son whom she would not forgive for whatever it was that he had done or said to her. I begged her, I pleaded with her and told her that we could not say the Lord’s prayer unless she forgave her son. Otherwise God would not forgive her. I went away frustrated and sad since my words fell on deaf ears. She would not forgive him!
When you do not forgive another, you not only hurt that person, but your unforgiving heart changes your life as well. You can’t let go of the hurt. You dwell on it, become bitter and angry and unable to experience any peace. People who liked you before tend to avoid you now since you have become a person focused on yourself and your wound. There is no joy or laughter in your relationships with others and instead of looking outward, you are navel gazing. You tend to be negative about everything and bad-mouth the person who offended you. Even if they try to make up and say they’re sorry, you reject them and all their attempts at reconciliation. Your “unforgiveness” is like a cancer in your heart, gradually destroying all the formerly good things about you as a person. Is this really how you want to be? If God can forgive your many failings, can’t you bring yourself to the offender and say, “I forgive you,” and embrace him or her as God will embrace you. If you find this step too difficult, pray for the other person and ask God to give you his strength to do what is necessary and right. You will be surprised when you do forgive the offence, how you are flooded with peace and how a difficult heavy burden is lifted from your shoulders and seems to evaporate. Then you can pray with meaning and gratitude the Lord’s prayer. And God will once again bless your life!
