Don’t worry when you are not recognized, but strive to be worthy of recognition.

Abraham Lincoln

Earlier this month, my dad got released from hospital after a brief two-day stay, and he is resting at home after some surgery to repair a medical condition. During his time at the hospital in St. John’s (his first overnight hospital stay in 43 years) he was quite impressed with the care and attention he received from the medical staff. One of the nurses tending to him just happened to have relatives in his hometown of Dunville. Apparently her dad was from Dunville and she inquired if my father had known him. Dad said that he did and mentioned to her that in fact he had worked with her father many years ago.

The nurse then asked about her dad’s dad – her grandfather, whom she had never known. She was wondering what kind of man he was. My father answered that her grandfather was a gentle man. The nurse was very pleased to hear this and was anxious to relay this information to her own family.

Isn’t that a nice compliment to bestow on someone – a gentle man? In our conversation earlier today, I didn’t quiz my father about why he would say this former acquaintance of his was, in his opinion, a gentle man. But, in hindsight, I don’t think I need to ask him that question. The qualities of a gentleman are obvious, aren’t they?

The great Irish playwright, George Bernard Shaw, once said: “A gentleman is one who puts more into the world than he takes out.” I like that definition. Someone of that nature is a giver – not a taker. A giver concerns himself with your interests and needs. A taker is more self-centered – one who likely epitomizes the old adage – “a person wrapped up in himself makes a small package.”

The world needs more givers, wouldn’t you agree? It needs more gentlemen, and ladies, who have girded their character with the surety of a confident sense of self-respect. In essence, men and women who exude a humble spirit, and (or maybe because they) are passionate about living true to a high moral standard.

This kind of person sticks out in a crowd; not for any ostentatious reason, but because they have that endearing quality of genuineness – there is no pretentiousness in their manner. Others in their company seem to gravitate towards them. No, they’re probably not waxing poetic on some of life’s truisms, but, in all likelihood, others are drawn to their generosity of spirit. This type of person has probably long before recognized the truth of one of Sue Atchley Ebaugh’s recipes for a life of value – “The greatest gift we can give one another is rapt attention to one another’s existence.”

Do you know people like that? Maybe you’re a person who fits the above description of such a gentleman, or gentlewoman. If so, your life is likely characterized by two definite realities – you are blessed with an abundance of healthy relationships/friends, and the path of your daily life is adorned with the sweet smell of intuitive serendipity.

Not only that, you definitely subscribe to the advice in the second sentence of the following quote by Jim Rohn: “One of the major reasons why people are not doing well is because they keep trying to get through the day. A more worthy challenge is to try to get from the day.”

Leonard Quilty is a teacher with the Centre for Learning@Home in Okotoks, Alta. He is back home for part of the summer in Marystown on the Burin Peninsula of his beloved Newfoundland and Labrador. He can be reached by e-mail at lquilty@redeemer.ab.ca