Having a friend that has been diagnosed with anxiety disorder and major depression is difficult. But if it's difficult for me, what is it like for her?

I first met my dear friend in Grade 7. We met at what was then called Eastwood School. She was a quiet and shy girl and we developed a bond that would last a lifetime.

Her mom treated me like a second daughter. They had a cabin on an island at Paint Lake and we loved to go exploring and fishing. I caught my first jackfish in their canoe and she gave me her brother's brand new fishing rod to use. I was used to catching little brook trout back in Newfoundland and was shocked at the site of this huge ugly fish that was going under our canoe and rocking us all over the place. I got scared and threw the rod in the water! All I heard was, “Oh my God that was my brother's new rod!” We shared other adventures too, like a Caribbean cruise when we were 16.

She had dreams. She wanted to live on a farm with horses. Her dreams came true. What I didn't know was that as close as we were, she had things going on in her personal life that she didn't share with me until years later, after the end of her marriage and when her life spun into a deep depression. My friend was diagnosed with anxiety disorder and major depression.

I had many frightening calls from her over the years. There were hurtful moments when she would pierce my heart and say I didn't care about her. The most frightening calls were the suicidal ones. I have called her doctor knowing she would hate me if she found out. I have called 911 knowing she would rather die. I spoke with her on the phone one day not letting on that I had help for her on the way. It was hard to hear what happened on the other end of that phone when they arrived but I knew I had to do it. She could hate me now, she'd forgive me later.

It's hard to share great family moments because I don't want to make her sad. I don't share accomplishments with her because I don't know what makes her happy or sad. But as I write this I'm beginning to realize that just sharing my life with her is what she needs. Friends share life's moments.

Medications didn't work and she just went through E.C.T. treatments. She warned me going in that it could cause memory loss. A selfish part of me asked, “What if you forget me?” I was happy to get a text a few days ago. “I could never forget you, you are a part of who I am,” and another text that followed reading, “discharged and on my way home.”

I started out by saying it is difficult, but I'll end with saying it is so rewarding. I could not imagine my life without her in it. I am here for her. She is not alone. Even though sometimes she may react strongly to something I may say or do, I know that it's important to listen to how she feels. I will never judge her and too often people living with mental illnesses are judged. This makes me sad. We all go through sad moments in our life. Some have to deal with sad moments on a daily basis. Telling somebody to just be happy and get over it, is not the answer when they are clinically depressed. Be there for your friend and if you are the person in need of someone to talk to, don't go through it alone. Ask for help.